Another lovely photo from my mind’s second home: France. (A personal library of old books stored throughout a chateau – how could I not fall in love?)
College.
Student-athlete.
Biochemistry major.
Living away from home.
Wow.
Honestly, I usually still think I’m 17 when people ask me my age. It’s hard to comprehend the fact that I’m in college, that I have already had to deal with a lot of things I never had to before college, that I’m actually not even going to be a teenager next year, and that, at some point relatively soon, it’s going to be expected of me to be fully independent. Some people my age have already been married for a year and may even have a kid. Some people my age are already living on their own or traveled to a different country for school. That is just crazy to me – how can my preference of being home and my dislike of large social settings compare with that?
I used to look at college students and think that they had their lives together. Even if they weren’t doing well in school or something, I figured they must have a backup plan, that they were always calm about what they would do. Since starting college, I’ve realized that no one has it together, even the people who are like what I described above. Even those people are worried their backup plans won’t work – no one can be sure. Oftentimes, the future seems terrifying because I’ve realized that I’m never going to feel like I’m invincible in the path my life takes. And it’s true, I won’t ever be invincible in what I do.
But, honestly? I still find peace. I really only have that peace because of knowing the Lord. I do not have to worry about the risk of failing in something. I don’t even have to worry that I will let someone down because the Lord has got me. If life plans have to change, it’s not because I’m not good enough, it’s not because I don’t have value, it’s because I’m needed somewhere else. I will be a thousand times more useful in a place He has picked out for me than in a place that I am trying to make work for me. There is no comparison between any one life and another: all have a need for Him and all will better glorify Him while following what He chose for them. He has His plan and all I have to do is try my best to follow Him and every smooth path or rocky cliff will be used for His glory.
Random odd things accomplished thanks to college:
- had my number requested by a fourth grade boy touring campus
- successfully sneaked out of a park I got locked into with a friend
- applied for a job as a snake handler (the snake left campus, but not to worry, I have two other jobs instead)
- went to Georgia (for swim nationals but I was delirious with a fever)
- dyed my hair with temporary dye for the first time for a day (blue, and then dyed it again for a day a purple/red color)
- experienced a demonstration of stunt driving skills
- made a turkey hat with kindergarteners
- drank 3-5 cups of tea every day for a whole week (sick before finals week this last semester)
All in all, it’s definitely been an experience.
xx