Story

College

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Another lovely photo from my mind’s second home: France. (A personal library of old books stored throughout a chateau – how could I not fall in love?)

College.

Student-athlete.

Biochemistry major.

Living away from home.

Wow.

Honestly, I usually still think I’m 17 when people ask me my age. It’s hard to comprehend the fact that I’m in college, that I have already had to deal with a lot of things I never had to before college, that I’m actually not even going to be a teenager next year, and that, at some point relatively soon, it’s going to be expected of me to be fully independent. Some people my age have already been married for a year and may even have a kid. Some people my age are already living on their own or traveled to a different country for school. That is just crazy to me – how can my preference of being home and my dislike of large social settings compare with that?

I used to look at college students and think that they had their lives together. Even if they weren’t doing well in school or something, I figured they must have a backup plan, that they were always calm about what they would do. Since starting college, I’ve realized that no one has it together, even the people who are like what I described above. Even those people are worried their backup plans won’t work – no one can be sure. Oftentimes, the future seems terrifying because I’ve realized that I’m never going to feel like I’m invincible in the path my life takes. And it’s true, I won’t ever be invincible in what I do.

But, honestly? I still find peace. I really only have that peace because of knowing the Lord. I do not have to worry about the risk of failing in something. I don’t even have to worry that I will let someone down because the Lord has got me. If life plans have to change, it’s not because I’m not good enough, it’s not because I don’t have value, it’s because I’m needed somewhere else. I will be a thousand times more useful in a place He has picked out for me than in a place that I am trying to make work for me. There is no comparison between any one life and another: all have a need for Him and all will better glorify Him while following what He chose for them. He has His plan and all I have to do is try my best to follow Him and every smooth path or rocky cliff will be used for His glory.

 

Random odd things accomplished thanks to college:

  • had my number requested by a fourth grade boy touring campus
  • successfully sneaked out of a park I got locked into with a friend
  • applied for a job as a snake handler (the snake left campus, but not to worry, I have two other jobs instead)
  • went to Georgia (for swim nationals but I was delirious with a fever)
  • dyed my hair with temporary dye for the first time for a day (blue, and then dyed it again for a day a purple/red color)
  • experienced a demonstration of stunt driving skills
  • made a turkey hat with kindergarteners
  • drank 3-5 cups of tea every day for a whole week (sick before finals week this last semester)

 

All in all, it’s definitely been an experience.

xx

France

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Hello all,

Wow – it really has been a while! So much has happened. I left off rather upset about not having gone to France two years ago, but I was able to go the following year. It was an absolute blast and I enjoyed it so very much. I even had trouble switching back to English at the end of the three week trip.

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I celebrated my 18th birthday the last full day of the trip, which was so exciting. Unfortunately, I also had gotten strep throat and a 24hour bug, both of which I was recovering from on my birthday. BUT a dear friend bought me crepes in celebration and that was the first meal I was able to eat after catching the virus, and we wandered around for shopping so it ended up being a fun day.

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The missions part of the trip was also fantastic. We had so many children attend the VBS. One girl personally asked me to dedicate her new Bible to her. Another even younger girl, about three years old, discovered a much enjoyed pastime of tackling me to kiss my cheek or fiercely hug me every day. Two little boys, in the group I helped with, made quick friends with me and I was cheerfully invited to eat with them every day of the trip – these boys remain so special to me. My absolute favorite part of these days was getting asked to please sit with them by the sign (used for storytelling) for lunch and then getting to follow through and laugh at all of their stories during our meal.

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I truly felt at home in the French culture and church. I was happy to see my family when I returned, but a part of me still always wants to be in France, sleeping in the gorgeous chateaus and homes of host families. In one church service, the pastor welcomed us and asked us to sing in English while the congregation sang the same song in French – it was a particularly memorable moment, it sounded lovely. And yes, the food was amazing. (: I was honored to get to be a part of the kitchen staff during the second week we were there. I got to tour the street markets with a French cook and dear friend, then return back to a French kitchen to learn how to cook from the greatest father and son duo that I’ve met. (Plus they were absolutely hilarious!)

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The weather was another beautiful thing about southern France. At night and in the morning, the air was always cold, even in the middle of summer. It warmed up during the day, so we were able to enjoy trips to the beach, but at night, we wrapped up in jackets and sweaters to sit on the rooftop and sing under the stars.

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Should you ever feel the desire to go to France, particularly if the Lord calls you – do it. Don’t choose not to out of fear. There were risks when I went and in fact, there was an attack on a city while I was there, although the Lord kept us safe a few hours away. The chance for something bad to happen is not a good reason to turn away from the likelihood that something great will occur.

Missing France, but happy to be reliving it and finally sharing with you all again!

xx

Before Everything Went Right…

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Good afternoon, you all!

I don’t know whether it was the shards of desire in my eyes leftover from this morning searching for more beautiful things or whether it was the getting up at four a.m. drowsiness altering my brain, but today is the most perfect day I’ve seen in a while. A few minutes ago, I was enjoying the sun and breeze outside with the sun just warming the bricks in my backyard and the breeze drying my hair and bringing the faint scent of barbeques and Gatorade. I have been rather busy as I know I still have to explain, but I have also been making time to read my thousands of books because I make more time than I should. I am currently reading two stories, but the one I want to mention, Little Beach Street Bakery, is a dream. Side note: I finished it today and it is an adult book, I skipped a few scenes and words. (So I cannot actually recommend it.) It’s essentially about a girl who moves to this tiny little island that depending on the tide, is completely cut off from the rest of the world. It’s a beautiful book, the girl, Polly, starts up her own bakery by the end and fixes up an old home. It completely flows with my mind right now.

This entire week, possibly even month, has felt like it was all going wrong. I was depressed to begin with at the start of the month because, as some of you might know, I should have been in France from the start of July to a beautiful close-to-the-end-of-July. I was crabby and frustrated this whole month, but this week was bad in particular. I had extra hours requested of me at work, but I wasn’t able to fill them and felt awful even though it’s allowed for me to not be available. I had an overload of work that I pretty much gave myself, from applications to Calculus homework (for fun). I was stressed about Thursday because I had to work, then rush to Sport Chalet and rent gear so that I could leap into a suit and attend a three hour pool session for diving. I skipped workouts and felt like I slacked off to my main sport, swimming. I had a run-into with an old… something. I don’t even know what. We were friends a long time ago, but he quit talking to me and left, so I held a grudge for at least three or four years. And he wanted a hug when he recognized me…. (I reluctantly did.) So I had to face the feelings resurfacing and through it all, I was angry with myself for being angry, for caring about it all, for making everything such a big deal when he probably doesn’t even remember us being friends all that well, let alone how he left. And through realizing all this, I kind of just cracked this morning.

I am in the process of becoming diver certified. Most people want their driver’s license, but this summer I decided to go for diver instead. We had a ton of homework over a three week period so far, although it extends into next week. We have had classroom days with quizzes and pool sessions that last for three hours ending at nine p.m. with everything practiced over and over. Today, practically yesterday with how early I had to wake up, we attempted our first dive outside a pool. We had to cancel, the surf was too strong and the ocean was too murky at the bottom with sand. I suppose most people would be annoyed or feel like they wasted a day, but it was one of the best things that’s happened to me. Getting up at 4:30, we sneaked around the house and stole away to the beach, arriving an hour and a half later. Seeing the empty street and the tiny shops brought such an odd sense of peace. The air and smell of sea urchins and seaweed relaxed me even more. The sky gained more and more light as the morning went on and we practiced breaking out past the surf zone and coming back in. God gave me such peace this morning, diving under waves and bracing myself against the surge. I realize He always has a way for us to get past the wave, whether over or under – He has a way. Sometimes, I have to be shoved off my feet to learn, but fortunately, there’s always God or, in today’s case, a divemaster to right me again.

Reflecting on the success today was for me, I came to a calm with some of the things I have been frustrated by. Although I didn’t get to dive today, I got to practice entry through the surf and I got to enjoy the beach with my brother and group today – we were a fun gang, my head instructor especially. The beauty of the waves, air, and empty cove made me rethink some of the problems that I struggled with this week in particular. For work, it’s a main priority, but I was not, despite my feelings, letting anyone down. I already had plans and I worked extra hours already this week. Sometimes I need to just let it go, I can’t always be the willing, able, and available girl I’d like to be. For work and stress, I just finished reading a book about doing things that God has told me to do. That really means, as the book said, not saying yes to everything. I know I managed my schedule and workouts to the best I could. Thursday worked out just fine. Everything ran smoothly and I had fun joking around with my friends at work and with my family and brother at diving. Dealing with my grudge was the most difficult; I had the hardest time letting it go, but I did. Because in all honesty, I need to practice forgiving, I don’t think he remembers, I most likely will never see him again because it took years to run into him and in a year we will be in college, and also, it was just stupid – a grudge leftover from when I was 12-13. It ran deep, it was hard to stop, but I think I’m pretty much okay. God hasn’t given me many chances to practice letting grudges go, simply because I don’t have many (thankfully), but I’m now grateful for the chance.

So like the book, I know what it’s like to have your life personally changed by the sea and, unlike the book, by God. He never stops blessing me with moments like today that leave me with peace and understanding, but today was just so wonderful that I had to share. So as a note, when things are really seeming to go wrong, just wait it out and rely on Him. Visit the ocean or what gives you peace. When the huge wave is being created, right in front of your face, turn to your buddy, brace each other, and let it crash over you. Because I promise, that when it passes, you’re stronger and happier than you’ve ever been before.

To finish out today’s post, here’s a recipe for cookies that I altered from a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook ( I highly recommend the New Cook Book). The batter will seem all wrong, too soupy and slightly lumpy, but it will turn out fine. I made these for the first time this week and looking at the batter before cooking them, I was thinking I was going to have to add them to the list of failures for the week, but they were beautiful once cooked.

Fudge Cookies

Ingredients:

Use what chocolate types you like, but I used:

2 squares semisweet baker’s chocolate

12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups)

2 large pats of butter (about 2 Tablespoons)

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 cup flour

1 teaspoon vanilla (I love vanilla; I add more)

about 1/4 teaspoon baking powder

2 eggs

3/4 cup of chopped nuts (optional)

 

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Melt the chocolate squares, half chocolate chips, and butter. I prefer to use a heat-safe bowl over a pot of boiling water, but a microwave works too. Stir chocolate-butter often.

3. Add sugar, flour, vanilla and baking powder to chocolate mixture, stir until it’s mixed fairly well. Whenever the chocolate cools enough it won’t cook the eggs (warm/slightly hot), add the eggs and mix everything as smooth as you can.

4. Add nuts and remaining chocolate chips to batter, stirring in. Now, it’s soupy, I know, but dribble it into cookie shapes onto a prepared cookie sheet. For the cookie sheets, I like the double layer trays with a sheet of spray-buttered parchment paper on top. (I’m all for having clean cookie sheets and cookies that don’t stick.)

5. Bake the cookies for about 8-12 minutes, depending on what size you make them. Cookies will have dull shell-like top with cracks.

Hope you enjoy those if you make them! Have a wonderful week! I know I will enjoy mine. 🙂

I quite understand now why some people are in love with the ocean and the beach. I think I’m a beach bum in the making, definitely already a sea freak.

Lovingly,

Your Ocean Girl

xx

Greek Joke

So I have a dramatized version of Friday night real life made-up joke for you:

We are currently studying Rome in school, but we just finished with Ancient Greece. So my sisters and I have all the Greek Myths and cultural habits in our heads. This is how the other night played out at one point:

I had just finished trying to explain to my sister, why the Greeks would hug each others knees in greeting to request something. {they do it as a greeting but also to put themselves below someone else. They usually put themselves below someone because they were going to ask them for something.}

So my sister, combining our Greek and Roman history, hugs my knees and says, “Aeneid some ice cream.” [I need some ice cream.]

xx

A Cuisine Adventure…

photo credits go to a friend
photo credits go to a friend

Well. I want to be able to say that my French repertoire, of making and eating food, is complete. Last Friday, I ate a snail.

It was, of course, eaten on purpose and cooked. It wasn’t unexpected, we had planned the date in advance. I was convinced though, that I would not be able to eat it due to being only barely able to eat frog legs last year. [I truly would link the blog post from that, but I’m just feeling too lazy at the moment. Search around for February posts from last year and you should find it if you’re interested.] I guess I’ve matured, I ate it with only a slight pause {after making a friend eat hers first}. The snail had a slightly sweet flavor and a bizarre texture and I would like not to have to eat another one ever.

Essentially, I feel like I have slightly failed my French mindset and my microscopic French roots. I didn’t expect to like snails or frogs, but to feel nauseated only because I know what I ate is a rather odd feeling. I am happy with my expanded cooking skills though, I could whip up a batch of snails for a guest. I would just refuse to eat them afterwards.

May I tell you that poking canned uncooked snails is really fun though. I wouldn’t want to discourage you from trying frog legs or snails if you want, I did have a fun time. I think I just have a hard time disconnecting knowing what I’m eating from what I know it is. Was. Whatever. 😉 I just had a really strong urge to brush my teeth a ton once I got home from eating the snails. {Also, I realize I should probably be calling them “escargots”, using fancy terms and all. 🙂 }

My friends {the ones who made & ate the frog and snails with me} and I have decided that next year, instead of an even weirder food tasting, we might just go with an all desserts celebration for surviving frog and snail. Have you ever eaten anything weird?

xx

The Unread Letters (Part Two)

Ok! So everyone wanted to hear the end really bad, so here you go. I’m glad you guys like this story, because it gives me hope for my other ones. I’m not terribly proud of this story, as I told my brother, so it’s nice knowing you guys like it. Hopefully that means that my better stories are even better.… Read more →

The Unread Letters

Here is part of a short story I wrote a while ago. I really like writing, but writing doesn’t come as easily as I’d like it to. I’ve finished this story so I’ll post the end later. It is a short story though, I wrote it for a library program a while ago and I like the idea, althoughI don’t think… Read more →